I may be getting up there in years, but I can still put a good scare into uppity young cats who think they can waltz into my garden any time they feel the urge.
Case in point: yesterday I persuaded the humans to let me venture outside (in the front!!) before they took their evening walk. The weather was so lovely that I took umbrage with the fact that they had left me cooped up indoors all day, so I parked myself right in front of the big entry doors and wouldn't budge. They had no choice but to let me outside to sniff the cool evening breeze. Softie took the opportunity to mess with her plants and flowers, and the British One sat on the porch reading the newspaper while I surveyed my domain.
And it was a good thing I inspected it too, because who should wander over to the edge of my property but Gordon, the young ginger cat who sometimes escorts Softie to the bus in the mornings!
Immediately I was on guard. I crouched down low and hid behind a large flowerpot on the porch, keeping my eyes trained on him. He couldn't see me, and continued sniffing the neighbor's flowers as he edged closer to my front garden. My tail swished with anticipation—I couldn't wait to jump on him the minute he stepped a paw onto my lawn!
Of course Softie had to open her big mouth and warn Gordon that I was watching him, and when he saw me he flipped his tail a few times and then flopped over on his side, rubbing his head all over the neighbor's sidewalk while trying to look as harmless as possible.
I continued to give him the evil eye, and positioned myself into a Sphinx-like pose on the top step of the porch. Gordon rolled over on his back, still watching me coyly with big golden eyes, and stretched out his paws. Oh how I wanted to leap from the porch and give him a good whack across that smug face! I think he realized that I meant business too, because he stood up, tucked in his tail, and scooted a bit further away, turning twice to see if I was following. When he saw that I wasn't, he flopped over on his side again and rolled around.
All too soon it was over, and I was scooped up into the arms of the British One and put back inside the house, where I could not inflict damage on Gordon's insolent arrogance.
I showed him who is Boss around here. He'd be wise not to overstep his boundries, because the next time I might not let him get away so easily.