Thursday, April 28, 2005

Lonely, I'm Mr. Lonely

All day today I have been left by myself. Softie got up earlier than usual this morning, and when she left the house the British One went with her.

Oh, and they KNEW they would be away all day. They fed me a huge amount of delicious diced chicken this morning, and also piled a heap of organic kibble into a second dish. In the event that I got desperate, I suppose.

I have no idea where they went, nor do I care. What matters is that I have been left by myself ALL DAY, while they cavort elsewhere. I don't like it.

I suppose I will have to shun them when they return.

They'd better return soon! The delicious diced chicken is gone and the dreaded kibble beckons.

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Of Claws and Clippings

It's hard work taking care of two humans. They must constantly be reminded of the simplest things, such as making sure my food dish is kept full and my box emptied. They never seem to understand the easiest of phrases either. Like "OUT" for instance. No matter how plainly I speak the word, nor how often I demand it, they feign ignorance.

Just yesterday afternoon I had to use a bit of claw on the British One so that he would be reminded to heat up some delicious diced chicken for me. He was busy staring intently into the glowing box in the office, and pecking furiously at the keyboard. He wasn't pleased with the claw, but it worked.

Later in the evening I had to sprawl myself across Softie's lap to remind her that I needed a good brushing. After several circles in her lap, she finally got the hint and got out the brush, comb and scissors.

Normally I don't enjoy being attacked with the evil scissors, and I especially loathe for anyone to touch my belly, but even I had to admit that the nappy dreads on my tummy were getting a little out of control. I lay quietly on her lap and let her gently cut out the dreads on my belly, and now I am a very handsome cat indeed.

Friday, April 22, 2005

Stormy Weather

I don't like bright flashes of light in the middle of the night.

I also don't like the loud booms that follow the flashes.

But I am NOT a "fraidy-cat."

I just don't like thunderstorms.

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Glorious Sunny Days!

The weather has been very gorgeous indeed, and I have done my best to take full advantage of it.

I helped the British One hang curtains in the bedroom yesterday, and then, because of the great effort I exerted, I took a nice nap on the bed.

When Softie came home I legged it down the stairs as fast as I could and told her that I needed to go outside. She and the British One debated about it because apparently they were planning to go somewhere, but I won and they went outside in the back garden with me. I did some exploring and they ate popcicles.

I realized that the sun was very hot, and there isn't much shade in the back garden. When we lived in the other house there was plenty of shade underneath the shrubbery and I used to hide there quite a bit and watch the world go by. Now I don't have any place to hide from the sun or the world. My black fur got hot very quickly.

I decided to go inside, which I think surprised my humans. From now on, I am going to demand to hang out on the front porch, which has plenty of shade.

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Gloomy Days Inside the House

I wish the weather would cheer up, because it is starting to depress me. I want to go outside but the British One and Softie won't let me because they think it is too wet.

Instead, I have been locked inside the kitchen and dining room while the strange men continue making a lot of racket and dust in the rest of the house. I hope they will be finished soon, because I don't enjoy being closed off inside my own house.

The British One was kind enough to pull a dining chair over to a window so I could sit comfortably and look outside, but there wasn't anything interesting going on. It was too wet for the birds to be hopping around in the grass, and the squirrels must have been hiding from the rain as well.

After the strange, noisy men left for the day I was freed from my dining room prison and allowed to wander the house, so I decided to let the British One know how upset I was at being locked up all day. I left him a nice, stinky gift on one of the rugs. He wasn't very pleased and informed Softie about it as soon as she came home. They both told me I was a "bad kitty" but they have it all wrong. THEY are the bad ones! THEY had me cooped up all day and I couldn't visit with the British One in his office, nor could I nap on the Poang, nor on the bed, and I couldn't even sit on the arm of the sofa and look out the large front window.

I'm not a bad kitty. I just have BAD HUMANS!

Sunday, April 10, 2005

A Day of Surprises

Yesterday was perfect. Softie and I went outside and potted some flowers into containers, and then I raced all around the garden in the sunlight. The big ugly dog next door (whose name I have discovered is "Mooch") barked and snarled at me through the privacy fence but I'm no longer too worried about him. I've discovered that he cannot jump the fence, and can only see me a tiny bit through one slat. I couldn't help but to tease him a little by walking over to the fence and flopping around on the lawn in front of his drooling muzzle.

I must admit that my little kitty mind was blown when the British One emerged from a wooden door in the ground. I've seen this door before, and in fact have walked all over it on occasion, but I had no idea that it actually OPENED! It was too much for me. I had to find out where the door led. I trotted gingerly down the steps and discovered that this door is the Magic Portal2! Upon arriving at the bottom of the steps, I was standing next to the washer and dryer! Amazing!

If my powers of deduction are correct (and I am sure they are because I am such a clever kitty) this means that when I venture into the Magic Portal in the kitchen, I can exit via the Magic Portal2 into the back garden. Brilliant!

The British One got out the grass-chopping noisemaker, so I decided to beat a hasty retreat back inside the house for a little while. Softie went around to the front of the house and continued with her planting and weed pulling, and then after all the work was finished I had yet another surprise: I got to go outside in the front of the house!

The British One and Softie sat on the front porch admiring their handiwork, and I got to wander around the porch, the perimeter of the house and even (briefly) to the next door neighbor's front garden. I rolled around on the sidewalk and helped Softie water all the containers of flowers.

I never wanted it to end, but honestly I began to grow a bit weary from all the excitement of new places and surprises, and so was secretly glad when they brought me back inside. A bit later they left to go curtain shopping and I sacked out in the Poang. I slept until they returned several h0urs later, laden with shopping bags.

I took note of the two pots of strawberry swirl yogurt that were put into the big, cold foodbox...

Friday, April 08, 2005

I love yogurt!

Last night the British One and Softie sat down to watch a bit of television, and the British One decided to attempt eating a pot of yogurt.

I was dozing on Softie's lap when I heard the lid being peeled back. Naturally I had to climb onto the British One's lap to inspect the goods. He scooped a huge spoonful of the delicious yogurt and then put it into HIS month. Sorry, but this is not how it is supposed to be. The yogurt is supposed to go into MY mouth.

I tugged on his sleeve and gave my best "pleading kitty" look. He managed a few more spoonfuls into his mouth as I edged closer to the hand holding the pot.

Finally he gave up and held the spoon out for me. It smelled different and I was momentarily apprehensive, but I tentatively rolled out my tongue and tried a wee taste. That was all it took.

I lapped up every delicious spoonful of peach flavoured yogurt, and then tried to stick my head inside the pot. The British One wouldn't let me though and held the pot up over his head very high.

I love yogurt.

Thursday, April 07, 2005

Disruption in my schedule

The past few days have been very disruptive for me, and I don't like it.

First the British One and Softie left me alone all day long on Monday while they went out and played.

Then a new batch of strange men have come into my house and are making a lot of noise. They have been carrying lots of stuff into my house, and have been making it disappear into the ceiling of the second floor. The worst thing about these strange men isn't the noise--but believe me when I say it is very LOUD. No, the worst thing is that because they are working on the second floor and inside the ceiling, I have been relegated to the kitchen and dining room. The British One put me inside the kitchen and then pulled out the pocket doors, shutting me off from the lounge (and my sofa!), and the second floor (my bed!). It's very rude.

There is much talk about something called central air, and much discussion about a state-of-the-art system that is sympathetic to older homes.

We live in an old house alright. I thought with old homes came mice to catch, but so far I haven't seen any. It's quite disappointing. I used to catch mice at my other house. I'd go outside in the autumn and if I sat real still in the garden I could usually catch myself a mouse to present to Softie.

I do rather enjoy watching her scream and jump around.

Monday, April 04, 2005

Opening Day

Today was something called Opening Day. I don't have the slightest idea what it means, but Softie took the day off work and she and the British One fed me early and left me home alone all day. I didn't want to go with them anyway. I much preferred to stay here and answer my Catster catmail. I'd like to say a warm hello to my newest friends: Mercedes, Milo, Sofie, Riley, Pebbles, Dracula, Amber Rose, Celeste, Korah Bell and Midnight Sunset. I'm pleased to know you and to call you friends.

I heard the British One and Softie say something about a parade in downtown Cincinnati, and something about a baseball game. I don't know what a parade is, but I know what a ball is, and I know that a ball is fun to chase. Until it gets stuck behind a sofa, that is.

The two of them were gone for a long time too. They must have walked for miles because they both came back to the house and complained to me about their sore feet. I didn't care about their sore feet and told them as much. I was more interested in going outside! The sun has been shining all day and temperatures are mild and lovely. I'm going to go outside right now and let the sun warm my fur.

Sunday, April 03, 2005

Relinquishing my Cat of the Week Crown

I've had a wonderful time as Cat of the Week and I wish it didn't have to end. I realize, however, that there are lots of other fantastic felines that deserve a chance at Cat of the Week, so I do not mind relinquishing my crown.

I've gained a lot of friendships this week, and would like to say hello to my newest friends: Joey, Skippy, Sharon, Krispie, Muffin, Tailer, Simpson, Bobbie and June. I am honoured to be your friend.

The weekend started out quite ugly, with cold rain and high winds. As much as I demanded to go outside, neither the British One nor Softie would open the door. If only I could work the doorknobs myself--it would sure save me a lot of hassle. The ugly weather left overnight and we awoke this morning to sunshine and warmth. I went outside with the British One as he read the paper, and then I tried to assist Softie with trimming the hedges. I quickly decided that I didn't like the noise though, and scampered back toward the kitchen door.

I've been outside so much today that all I want now is a warm lap and a bowl of delicious diced chicken.