Tuesday, January 10, 2006

The Trauma & The Triumph

It seems like forever that I have been away from my house, my comfortable Poang chair and my familiar food dishes and litter boxes. It seems ages since I sat on the back of the sofa and watched the world go by out of the big front window, or aggravated the evil Mooch next door by rolling around in the grass in my back garden.

I was beginning to think I'd never see my home or my humans again!

The trauma of living in a small room at the not-quite-evil hippy vet's office is over. I must admit that the staff and Dr. M took good care of me, and it was interesting to chat with other cats to compare stories, experiences and living arrangements. I discovered that my lifestyle is considered to be "incredibly pampered." How is a gentleman cat to live any other way?!

The cats who boarded at the vet's office with me were very jealous when told of my living situation. At first they didn't believe me, especially that troublemaker called Powder, who considered me to be an arrogant liar. Oh but when they discovered that my humans would ring the office every other day to check on me, and saw that I was served delicious foods (including the joyous turkey baby food) they realized that I was not making it all up. Even Powder had to admit that I am something special.

Laughably, they tried endlessly to trick me into revealing the secrets to my successful human training, but information like that is too valuable to share to just any ole cat who comes along, isn't it?

One day I might reveal some of my secrets. I might even hold Kitty Seminars to teach others the "Sir Higson Nick Guide to Human EduCATion." I can almost smell the catnip I would earn from it!

But for now, I am happily ensconced in getting the household affairs back in order. Human ankles need to be rubbed on, sofas need to be climbed on, and laps need to be napped on. I shall conquer the world another day.

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